Delivery & Deployment...A Birthday Story!

"You made it!"

It was 9pm and the restaurant closed at 10pm.  

He couldn't help that he was 3 hours late for our Valentines Day date.  He had no control over his schedule.  His number one obligation was to his country.  I knew that, and was happy he didn't miss the night completely!

We arrived just in time to enjoy "shrimp uglies" and other Caribbean favorites. 

The waitress looked at my exploding mid line and asked "When are you due?"

Smiling with both pride and discomfort...I said "4 days ago!"

"Ohhhhh..." She said sympathetically.

This would be the last time we enjoyed dinner at this restaurant, it closed soon after. It was the last time we would dine out as a couple. We were about to become a family!

I tried to be romantic and ignore the additional 40" to my middle.  I set out strawberries and Sparkling Cider on the night table for a romantic ending to our Valentines date.  It was a thoughtful gesture, but a gesture is all it would be.  We were so full and tired by the time we came home, romance was not on the agenda.  Maybe TONIGHT will be the night I go into labor.  As the heartburn nearly over took me, we fell asleep dreaming about the little boy about to come into our life. 

The next 6 days we tried all the old wives tales to get the labor started.  Some were not so pretty...and better left unsaid. I even tried jumping on the bed for a half hour. The only thing that got moving was the mattress. Finally, at 10 days over due, the doctors decided to induce labor.  It was about time!  Even though I had heard over and over not to worry..."no one ever delivers a kindergartner". 

The anticipation of a new baby is exciting for every family.  We were especially anxious because Jeff was scheduled to leave in just DAYS for his second 6 month deployment.

Jeff was given ONE day of liberty to be away from the ship and welcome his new son.

We arrived at the hospital at 7am on the 20^th of February 1990.  They hooked me up to the pitocin and the labor began.  It was standard procedure at the time to not be able to get up from the bed for the entire labor and delivery. All day long Jeff sat next to me. We practiced the Lamaze breathing taught in class.  I scolded him when he tried to use the massager on my back.  He was so patient and understanding. The pitocin was doing its job, but my body was not cooperating as quickly as hoped.

All day turned into all night and still SLOW progress.  Jeff slept in the chair beside the bed and felt helpless.  Finally, I was given Demerol and faded in and out of reality. At one point I remember Jeff on the phone talking to his mom.  I thought it was a dream. I also thought I was sound asleep on my stomach...something I'd long to do for several months!  The night turned into day, and Jeff had to go back to the ship. 

I cried when he left.  Our families lived all the way across the United States, and I had one friend who had to work. I don't remember many details of that day. As the morning progressed, I would call him at work to give updates, he would then pass the details to his boss, who would determine when Jeff was able to leave.  Finally, about 1pm in the afternoon,  I was ready to start pushing.  After getting the ok from his boss, Jeff was approved to leave work. It was a long drive to the hospital, and he arrived just as I was about to deliver.  Tears of joy filled our eyes as we heard his little cry.  9lbs. 3oz. We were a mom and dad! Jeff cut the cord and we had a few hours to bond before he had to return to the ship.  The hospital was great, giving Jarrod and I our own room. We didn't have visitors, and Jeff wasn't able to return to the hospital until he took us home 2 days later. This sweet baby was perfect. Fair skin, peach fuzz red hair, big hands and feet. He would be a strong, tall man. As I looked at my son, I had tears of joy and of sadness. It would only be a few days until this boys daddy headed to the Persian Gulf.

We lived in a little 2 bedroom townhouse not far from the beach. We had a furr-baby named "Duke", an energetic black lab.  He thought the baby was a strange creature and kept his distance.  Jeff spent his last days prior to the deployment doing work ups, consisting of 15 hour work days. Because we were very young, and did not have the emotional or physical support in Florida, Jeff's parents offered to have Jarrod and I live with them in Oregon.  So, at just 6 days old, we packed up our home and put it in storage.  My stepfather flew to Florida, and drove our car all the way to Arizona, so it would be waiting for us when we arrived for that leg of our trip.  Duke was shipped on an airplane to Oregon and would be waiting for us when we finally arrived there later.

There I was. A brand new mom with all our belongings in storage, dog and car gone, and only 2 more days to spend with my husband.  Jarrod and I stayed in a hotel near the base for 2 days. Jeff wanted to be with us, but was at the mercy of his work schedule.  This was very hard for him, as he is a father through and through.  The day of our flight came fast, and still, they would not extend Jeff liberty to see us off.  He was given about 2 hours to take us to the airport and drop us off.  This was a era when security was fast,  and you could walk all the way to the gate to say goodbye.  Jeff  borrowed a car from a friend and we were running late.  He dropped us off at the curb so we could check in, while he went to park the car. He could not find a parking space. We got checked in and headed to our gate.  I kept watching over my shoulder to see if he was coming, but I couldn't wait. We were late!

In 1990 there were no cell phones, no internet, no Skype.  We had no way to communicate outside of a land line and US Mail.  

As I stood in the busy terminal waiting, the intercom announced last boarding calls for our flight.  There we were, standing in the hallway, staring anxiously hoping to see him come for us.  And he did. We had a couple of minutes to say our goodbyes.  How hard that must have been for this new father to watch his wife and newborn son get on the plane, knowing he would miss the next 6 or more months of his life.  I tear up now just reliving that moment. All we could say was I love you over and over again. He kissed us both and we boarded the plane.  I cried the entire flight to Phoenix.  Jeffs ship left the next morning. Letters, photo's, and occasional port calls would be all that connected us for the months to come.

We spent a month at my moms in AZ.  It was a good time, full of happy memories. I recall one day about a week after arriving to my moms.  "Mom" I said.  "I keep getting the strangest feeling like I'm babysitting, and the parents should show up any time now".  We laughed.  Jarrod was a happy baby.  I have very fond memories of this time together.  I missed Jeff every moment of every day. Im sure he missed us more.

At about six weeks old,  Jeffs mom flew in to Phoenix, and we left Phoenix together in my car, driving the scenic route of California headed home to Oregon.  It was a great time of getting to know each other, as she and I had only met twice before...once the Thanksgiving after our wedding, and the second was the following Thanksgiving when they flew to Florida while we were expecting. 

Jarrod and I lived in Jeff's childhood room until September, when he came home.  Jeff flew to Oregon and we had a big welcome home celebration, Jarrod was nearly 7 months old by then.  A few days later we packed up the dog, the baby, and our belongings and headed back to Florida to live…until the Navy moved us again.  Who knew it would only be about 7 months later before we would head back to the Northwest...to stay until Jeff retires.

To our son on his 22nd Birthday...You are an amazing gift.  We love you so much!

Happy Birthday Jarrod!


xoxoxo
Mom & Dad