And the tabletop award goes to....

This morning I woke up to a text from my friend

saying the Golden Globe table centerpieces reminded her of my

daughters wedding bouquets.

So, I had to look it up and see!

source

Wow, they are very similar!

I made the wedding bouquets from fabric and these are 

obviously real flowers, but they do resemble each other.

The wedding bouquet colors are much brighter, 

but part of that is in the photography.

Gosh, its been a year and a half since I made those.

Thanks, friend, for reminding me of such a happy day!

xoxo

The familiar taste of foot in my mouth.... and other embarrassing moments....

You know those moments...They go something like this...

 You are so proud of yourself,

 the star of the 3rd grade Christmas Program, dressed up as Mary in a beautiful blue veil.

Gleaming as you march off the stage with Joseph, Shepard's, sheep and 3 wise men.

Smiling as you embrace the most fulfilling moment in your 8 year old life,

and then as you scoot across the old wood bleachers....

you get a giant sliver in your butt.

Or

That moment in 6th grade when you

finally return to school 2 months after breaking your leg on your third ski lesson.

only to have your crutch slip on spilled lunchroom gravy ...
 causing your crutch to fly in the air 

and your head to fall backwards
onto the corner of the lunch bench just about knocking you out.
The entire lunch room is watching as the nurse runs in
and escorts you to the office.

Or

That awkward date in 9th grade when the boy goes to kiss you

and you don't know what to do when you feel his tongue...

so you accidentally bite it and then awkwardly start laughing so hard you can't breath.

(totally destroying his masculinity)

Or

The morning you wake up late for a nail appointment

and throw on yesterdays pants lying on the floor beside the bed...

 As you're racing into the mall via a door being held open for you by a handsome gentleman...

a lacy hot pink pair of (yesterdays) panties fall out of your pant leg

right in front of him....

Or
While at the first social outing after your husband is promoted to Officer
you are seated directly across the table from the Captain.
You eagerly squeeze your lemon into your water glass
 not realizing its squirting all the way across the table
into his FACE
(Thankfully he had a good sense of humor!)

Yes, my life is remembered by moment, after awkward moment.

Seriously, I could go on and on for DAYS!

****

So, today, when I found that familiar taste of foot in my mouth

I shouldn't have been surprised.

We were attending a memorial service at our church.

Because I didn't know many of the guests,  I tried to talk mostly to the familiar faces.

 I recognized a lady in the crowd, so I spent some time catching up with her

and congratulating her on her fairly recent wedding and also giving my 

condolences for the recent loss of her father in law a few weeks ago.

She started talking to someone else so I meandered a little and decided to talk 

to (who I thought was) her husband.

ME: Hello, I'm Jodi. Jeff's wife. He mentioned that he's met you before.

HIM: Oh, yah... um, how are you?

ME:  Oh good, thanks! So, I never got to congratulate you on your 

recent marriage! congratulations!

HIM:  Um, thanks. ( a little look of uncertainty)

ME:  (not giving him room to talk) Oh, and I am so sorry to hear

about your dad. That must be very hard.

HIM:  My dad?  What's wrong with my dad?

ME: Aren't you ***** 's husband? Your dad...he recently passed away??

HIM: Um, no, I'm ****, my wife is over there with my daughter,

she is friends with **** .

ME: But you look so familiar, I wonder why that is.

HIM:  We were at your house a few years ago playing games for New Years.

ME: OOOOH yes, thats right! (Big awkward smile) Not another word spoken....

....I quietly make my way to the refreshment table in total embarrassment.

**5 minutes later**

I am now standing next to my husband with a full plastic cup of punch

and a paper cupcake holder with a chocolate peanut butter bar.

My husband is talking with another friend and I'm listening to their conversation.

Lost in my own little world I focus on the peanut butter bar.

It is stuck in the paper.

Its a bit of a battle working through the paper, but I finally get a bit of the cookie.

As I'm tasting pure delight I realize my husband has stopped talking.

I look up and see that they are both staring at me
 in disbelief.

In my eagerness to get a bite of the cookie, I hadn't realized the cup and cookie were in the
same hand.
As I twisted my hand to get the cookie into my mouth, I managed to
slowly pour the ENTIRE contents of my cup onto the carpet...
without even noticing.

ummmmm....oops....

My husband grabs a handful of napkins and blots the floor.

They get into a discussion of how did I pour an entire cup of punch onto the floor without any of it going down my shirt!?

We are all laughing now.

His friend says I need to write a book.

I say its time to go.

Walking out to the car I begin to think about my social awkwardness....
and that time a few years back when we were at a Luau on Maui

with the entire extended family.

After having a few complimentary Mai-Tai drinks,

I kept telling the waiter "Myhola" every time he brought something to the table.

 Finally, after about 5 times, Jeff  and his brothers asked me

"What are you trying to tell the waiter?"

"Thank you in Hawaiian!", I said. (DUH)

"Honey",  Jeff said

 "its Mahalo...NOT myhola".

OH...oops!

She makes beautiful things....

Will you imagine with me...

 standing in a super cute room full of fabrics and yarns

all organized like eye candy inside a distressed

shabby hutch.

via Facebook

Vintage suitcases filled with home made knitted hats, scarves

and custom bags.

via Facebook

Oh, to be so multi-skilled!

To have such talent!

She makes such beautiful things...

She makes such beautiful things for us!

I am not She.

I am "learning" to crochet.

I have a reallllly long 5 inch wide "ruffle" that is my practice piece.

Give me sandpaper and paint and I'm a superstar,

but needles and yarn require more attention to detail than I'm used to...

unless its a cute little...never ending... ruffle.

Not Rachel!

above photo's via Facebook

SHE IS A CROCHET AND SEWING SUPERSTAR!!

and the owner of

For Good Works

via Facebook

via Facebook

Awhile back,

Rachel was kind enough to let Sheila and I drop by...

(wait for it)

AT THE DROP OF A HAT....

HA HA HA HA

She and our friend, Debbie, were getting things ready for a huge bazaar. 

They had all her things organized in cute vintage suitcases.

Sheila and I had fun trying on different styles of hats and making a mess.

(Sorry about that Rachel!)

I was looking for the perfect style for my daughter for Christmas.

 Look, I found it!

This one right here...the colors are perfect for Janelle.

Later, Rachel was so kind to make another similar hat for my sister in law...

At the drop of a hat.

(Sorry, just had to do it. I just tickle myself sometimes)

While there, I couldn't resist taking some pictures of her cute house and decorating.

Stenciled old wood planks (love the saying!)

Upcycled canning jars on her chandelier.

Coffee sack curtain valance

She is such a lovely person inside and out.

Please go look at her Facebook page. 

There is so much to see.

And she will do custom and mail orders too!!

Keep up the Good Works, Rachel!!

We LOVE you and your talents.

Oh, and I bought that white one for ME!

xoxo

The hard part of writing a blog & a reminder why you need a cute workout outfit....

Hello dear friends!

I was overwhelmed by the feedback I received from yesterdays post.

Your emails and personal messages about your battles with food,

exercise, and hormonal imbalance really touched my heart.

I loved your words of encouragement and your own personal stories

of success and struggles.

Thank you!

You all mean so much to me.

via facebook

When I wrote that post at 4AM yesterday, 

my hearts desire was to share my personal life long struggle with food

 and the desire to treat myself as I would my own children.

Unconditionally, the way God loves me.

To have that love and grace fill the void food fills, 

to understand why I don't allow myself 

to succeed.

The risk of writing something so personal, and so public, is that it can be misunderstood.

My writing style isn't complicated, eloquent or well organized.

I speak from my heart, and often I'm a little ADD, so my writing reflects that.

I am also very passionate about family.

I have shared stories on here many times about that love. 

I choose to keep this blog as a place for positive and heart felt experiences.

Yesterday, I shared about what my mom and sister said to me in our phone conversations. 

You need to know that I didn't take offense to their honesty. 

I know what they meant, and I needed to hear it.

It was part of a bigger conversation we were having.

So, if my writing style led you to believe I have an awful family please know we are sometimes blunt, we laugh a lot, even hurt each others feelings sometimes,

but I love them because we are a family.

Unconditionally.

*******

Hey do you want to laugh? I thought I would share an old post reminding everyone 

why its important to have a cute workout outfit on hand.  Its from 2011, my first year blogging.

xoxo

Jodi

Revelation or Resolution....2014

Its no secret.
Well, its no secret if you know me.

I struggle with my weight.
I struggle with saying no to the foods I love.
I struggle with self sabotage when I do start to lose weight.

I don't take care of myself.
Not the way I should. Not the way I really want to. Not the way that those who love me would like me to.

I gained nearly 20 pounds while my husband was deployed for 6 months.
10 of that was weight I'd lost before he left.
In the past it was easy for me to focus on a diet or program while my husband was deployed.
Perhaps having young children made it easier in a way. Structure. Accountability. Constant motion.
I viewed a diet as a distraction to make the time pass quickly and look really "hot" for when my husband would return home.

Maybe its peri menopause, or perhaps the release of our last child into adulthood.
Maybe. Maybe those are more excuses to eat comfort foods.
I finally have the time to take care of me.....but am finding it hard to do.

As a stay home wife and mom I have carved out plenty of "me time".
But "me time" is different than "take care of me time".
Like choosing to go for a walk rather than taking a nap.
Or eating a healthy salad rather than the hamburger and french fries that I crave.
Choosing to work in the yard rather than sit in the lounge chair with a book.
Don't get me wrong here, I know there is a need for both sometimes, but to always choose the easier and .....let's be blunt....laziest option isn't good for the body or the mind.

Life happens. My kids grew up and the house became emptier. We moved to a new town and I found myself not working at all.  Working part time in my childrens' school district kept me busy for many years, as well as a small home staging business.  But when I found myself in my mid 40's without either a few years ago, I lost myself.  I guess they call it mid life crisis, peri menopause, whatever. Everyone handles that season differently, but for me it was very hard.  I found a great doctor who treated the anxiety and depression that often accompany hormonal changes. I am over a year off of any anxiety or depression meds and feel emotionally stronger and happier than I have since my early forties. I'm on a bio identical progesterone cream and a low dose natural thyroid medication as well. My mind feels strong and my emotions peaceful and content.

But my body is heavier than it has ever been.  When I expressed my concerns of weight with my sister right before my husband returned she was brutally honest. "I don't know why you are so worried, Jodi.  Haven't you been fat for most of your marriage? Jeff loves you just the way you are!"

True.  But ouch!

Last Spring I was on one of the many diets I have tried over the years. This one was for feeling better more than anything. And I felt great on it. I announced it on Facebook.
I shared pictures of my salads and proclaimed victory. Then I stopped posting about it. Obviously, I'd stopped following the diet.  A month or so after, during a phone conversation with my mom, she mentioned that perhaps I should stop posting my diets on Facebook as its obvious I'm not sticking with it.

True. But ouch again!

I don't want to hide or be ashamed of my struggle with food and motivation to exercise. I don't want to apologize for failing what I started. My disappointment in myself is large enough already. I do believe that a majority of the battle is in my head! Why do I believe somewhere deep inside that I need to have this cushion around myself, protecting me from something. That even though I feel better and lighter when I lose the weight, I also feel vulnerable and lost in new expectations for myself.

Is it because that if I succeed at losing the 60 extra pounds, that I will feel strong and successful?  Can't that be scary in itself?  Will I then have the confidence and motivation to reach other goals or milestones?  Or will I succeed only long enough to fail in the long run again.

Perhaps I should treat this journey as my job. Maybe God has allowed me this time AT this time to take myself seriously. To show up, do the work, and get a paycheck of doing a job well done and healthy living. But I'm afraid I will fail once again.  But I am also TIRED of being afraid of failure!

If I were one of my children and they came to me with these fears or struggles I would hold them in my arms and tell them that they are strong, and capable, and lovely just as they are. That they are not defined by size or personal struggles. That they are able to do whatever they set their minds to. And I would encourage them every.single.day.  with prayer, with love, with kindness.

It's time to love myself the way I love my children. To treat myself with the same unconditional love.  To accept myself and my failures as part of the journey to being who God created me to be. To draw closer to my creator so that He can fill the spots inside of my heart that food seems to fill.

So, here I am, once again putting myself out there. Bare naked for the world to see when I stumble or fall. Exposed as I pick myself up and press onward one day at a time.  A new year, a new start.

xoxo
Jodi